Sunday, June 22, 2003
OK. Now by way of introduction, and perhaps explanation, I will relate a little bit about myself.
I live in LA. Its rather nice here, and there is good work, good culture, diversity, and of course beaches, so I think I will stay out here for a while. I moved out to go to graduate school, and just a couple of months ago finished that up and received my masters of architecture. Finally. I live here with my girlfriend M_, who moved out to live with me after she finished her masters degree in fine arts a couple of years ago. We have been together for almost seven years now, absolutely wonderful and beautiful seven years. Telling anyone that usually invites them to ask whenwe will get married - which is a whole topic unto itself I will most likely get into later. For right now I will say, it's possible, we are not in any hurry, and first we have a lot of issues with the idea of marriage we want to sort out (its a problematic institution for us).
So. Back to the dream. While it may seem a bit disturbing that my parents appear in a dream that turns out to be so sexual, you have to first realize that they live back on the east coast, and were just here visiting for three whole weeks. Which is a long time. Not to say that they overstayed their welcome - not at all - just that lately they had been around alot when they usually are not, so this carried over to my dreaming.
A_ is a good friend of me and M_'s, and as I tell M_ from time to time, I am very interested in getting us three together for some good clean sexual shenanigans. She is very flirtiatious, very sexy, and unattached at the moment - but so far the only time a good opportunity came up, we chickened out of asking her to join us. Not that I am the only one interested in this, M_ has expressed an interest in it also (though she at times also seems not so sure, she goes from being curious to asking me why I dont ask A_ to fuck us), and I have a strong feeling that A_ has given it some thought too.
Unfortunately, A_ is gone for the summer this year, so we will not have the chance to find out for a while, if ever. Still - I am sure it will be on my mind until either it actually happens, or M_ (or A_ for that matter, if we get to invite to her fuck us) tells me to stop asking about it. It is of course very important that we would remain the closest of friends, and in my experience with sex and friendships, I dont feel like it should change our friendship for the worse - just add another dimension to it and perhaps even more openness. Anyway, the three-way with M_ and A_ is one of my many recurring fantasies I would like to try and act upon.
The one time we came closest to asking A_ if she would like to join us in our bed was one night a few months back. We had a party (or maybe just had her over for dinner - I dont remember) and when it was late and everyone had left already we (M_ and A_ and I) sat up even later on the kitchen then on the couch talking. A_ was kinda drunk at this point, and that is the main reason why we felt we shouldnt try to seduce her - in case she would later think it had more to do with the alcohol than her desire - a move I think was wise. But anyway, that night we were actually discussing threesomes and having sex with your friends, and A_ was talking about it in a way that sounded like she was very interested in doing it with us, but trying to talk herself out of wanting to. She told us of a time she went out dancing with a friend and her friends boyfriend, and ended up back at their house having sex with the both of them. She told us that she didnt know if she would do that with a good friend, actually I think she was telling us that she wouldnt do that with a close friend - meanwhile we are sitting there wanting exactly that RIGHT NOW with her. I think if we were a little bit bolder, and she wasnt drunk, I would have just asked her if she wanted to find out.
So, she had already intended to stay over, and we set her up on the couch in the living room. We then retired to our room, super horny, jumped out of our clothes and fucked as wildly and queitly as we could. M_ was practically dripping with wetness - I had to restrain myself from calling out to the other room to see if A_ wanted to crawl into our bed and get a good licking while I fucked M_.
But it doesnt even end there.
The next morning we all got up, made some coffee and breakfast, and A_ decided that we should watch a movie. So we were all cuddled up on the couch in our pajama clothes (soft thin t-shirts with no bra are to me the most sexually appealing clothes), and I of course volunteered that we watch Caligula. If you are not familiar with this film, check it out. Its a 70's era take on the life and reign of Roman Emperor Caligula, his sexual perversions, orgies, turning the all of the senators wives into prostitutes for a night, and all that good stuff. It was started with the idea of making a serious film, and finished with Bob Guccioine at the helm and his playmates frolicking in front of the camera. Its hardcore porn - but stuck in and around a (somewhat) serious film.
(Will finish this post later - gotta go out and make some music right now...)
I live in LA. Its rather nice here, and there is good work, good culture, diversity, and of course beaches, so I think I will stay out here for a while. I moved out to go to graduate school, and just a couple of months ago finished that up and received my masters of architecture. Finally. I live here with my girlfriend M_, who moved out to live with me after she finished her masters degree in fine arts a couple of years ago. We have been together for almost seven years now, absolutely wonderful and beautiful seven years. Telling anyone that usually invites them to ask whenwe will get married - which is a whole topic unto itself I will most likely get into later. For right now I will say, it's possible, we are not in any hurry, and first we have a lot of issues with the idea of marriage we want to sort out (its a problematic institution for us).
So. Back to the dream. While it may seem a bit disturbing that my parents appear in a dream that turns out to be so sexual, you have to first realize that they live back on the east coast, and were just here visiting for three whole weeks. Which is a long time. Not to say that they overstayed their welcome - not at all - just that lately they had been around alot when they usually are not, so this carried over to my dreaming.
A_ is a good friend of me and M_'s, and as I tell M_ from time to time, I am very interested in getting us three together for some good clean sexual shenanigans. She is very flirtiatious, very sexy, and unattached at the moment - but so far the only time a good opportunity came up, we chickened out of asking her to join us. Not that I am the only one interested in this, M_ has expressed an interest in it also (though she at times also seems not so sure, she goes from being curious to asking me why I dont ask A_ to fuck us), and I have a strong feeling that A_ has given it some thought too.
Unfortunately, A_ is gone for the summer this year, so we will not have the chance to find out for a while, if ever. Still - I am sure it will be on my mind until either it actually happens, or M_ (or A_ for that matter, if we get to invite to her fuck us) tells me to stop asking about it. It is of course very important that we would remain the closest of friends, and in my experience with sex and friendships, I dont feel like it should change our friendship for the worse - just add another dimension to it and perhaps even more openness. Anyway, the three-way with M_ and A_ is one of my many recurring fantasies I would like to try and act upon.
The one time we came closest to asking A_ if she would like to join us in our bed was one night a few months back. We had a party (or maybe just had her over for dinner - I dont remember) and when it was late and everyone had left already we (M_ and A_ and I) sat up even later on the kitchen then on the couch talking. A_ was kinda drunk at this point, and that is the main reason why we felt we shouldnt try to seduce her - in case she would later think it had more to do with the alcohol than her desire - a move I think was wise. But anyway, that night we were actually discussing threesomes and having sex with your friends, and A_ was talking about it in a way that sounded like she was very interested in doing it with us, but trying to talk herself out of wanting to. She told us of a time she went out dancing with a friend and her friends boyfriend, and ended up back at their house having sex with the both of them. She told us that she didnt know if she would do that with a good friend, actually I think she was telling us that she wouldnt do that with a close friend - meanwhile we are sitting there wanting exactly that RIGHT NOW with her. I think if we were a little bit bolder, and she wasnt drunk, I would have just asked her if she wanted to find out.
So, she had already intended to stay over, and we set her up on the couch in the living room. We then retired to our room, super horny, jumped out of our clothes and fucked as wildly and queitly as we could. M_ was practically dripping with wetness - I had to restrain myself from calling out to the other room to see if A_ wanted to crawl into our bed and get a good licking while I fucked M_.
But it doesnt even end there.
The next morning we all got up, made some coffee and breakfast, and A_ decided that we should watch a movie. So we were all cuddled up on the couch in our pajama clothes (soft thin t-shirts with no bra are to me the most sexually appealing clothes), and I of course volunteered that we watch Caligula. If you are not familiar with this film, check it out. Its a 70's era take on the life and reign of Roman Emperor Caligula, his sexual perversions, orgies, turning the all of the senators wives into prostitutes for a night, and all that good stuff. It was started with the idea of making a serious film, and finished with Bob Guccioine at the helm and his playmates frolicking in front of the camera. Its hardcore porn - but stuck in and around a (somewhat) serious film.
(Will finish this post later - gotta go out and make some music right now...)
Saturday, June 21, 2003
I had this dream a couple of nights ago. I emailed the transcript of it (below) to M_. She seemed to like it. I will explain more about it later, as I am going offline to get some shit done for a bit.
Dream.
We were at a farmer’s market type place, but very wide with lots of room between stalls, and not selling only food, it was a cross between The farmers market at the grove and the swap meet at Fairfax high school. Me and M_ and A_. Either in a quiet cornet of the market when we were standing up, or in the backseat of the car, M_ unbuttoned her shirt to flash us her breasts, A_ then also opened her shirt and waved her breasts in front of me, moving towards and away from me to tease me. I moved my head forward and she moved away, then she didn’t move away anymore and I ran my tongue up her left breast, and briefly sucked the nipple. She seemed slightly surprised, and pleased.
Then.
We were driving though mountain roads, me, M_, A_ and perhaps my parents, they seem to pop in and out of the dream. For some reason A_ needed an ATM machine and/or a bathroom, so we drove onto a narrow dirt off-ramp that split off from the paved road and curved up a few dozen feet. We drove over (past) a truck below us, where it looked like the road, now on a low dirt cliff maybe 30 feet tall, had simply given way under the weight of the truck. We skirted this and parked at the rest stop building. There was a stair to go down below the parking area and into the building, but as we tried to go down the stair we found it was full of sand. The whole building had been filled in with wet sand due to a recent landslide, which apparently had also been what threw the truck down the cliff or dropped the road out from under it.
Now we all got out of the car and walked around - we are on a wide plateau with a cliff rising behind us, and one falling off in front of us. Nearby there is a fast food place where they apparently will bring food to your car. We all lay down in a grassy area on a blanket, closer to the ledge than to the fast food place. A stereotypical fast food employee with silly uniform and hat and a tray with straps offered us some sort of fried snacks, but we shooed him away. We were lying down with out feet towards the food place, bodies parallel to the cliff in this order (from the cliff side to the drop side) my dad, A_, me, M_, my mom. I was lightly touching both M_ and A_ on their thighs, stomachs and breasts through their clothes.
At some point, either my parents have walked away, or the three of us got up and moved to another place (though again on the same blanket). Now M_ has taken all of her clothes off. A_ took off her pants and underwear, and opens up her shirt (she has no bra on). M_ and A_ are lying to each side of me, with their legs splayed wide open and angled so that their thighs and hips are touching and rubbing against each other. M_s wild and spiky pubic hair sticks up in contrast to A_’s shaved skin. I have been rubbing my fingers in M_s vagina and on her clitoris, and being also touching A_’s leg and inner thigh, then lighty stroking her labia. She moans. I continue to switch between both women, using one hand. I pause now and then to lick M_’s breasts, and to give her long, complicated kisses. Then I turned to A_, I began lightly licking her stomach, circling around her belly button and poking my tongue in it, skirting the top of her pubic mound. I ran my tongue over the swell of her breasts, darted around her nipples and then sucked deeply on each. I pulled my face back and looked up at her, and put my mouth on hers. She sucked hard on my mouth and tongue, wandering around my mouth with her to tongue. We released the kiss and I looked up to see M_ squatting on the other side of A_ now, she bent down and they began to kiss just as hard.
I ran my hand, palm open, down A_’s body towards her crotch.
I woke up.
Dream.
We were at a farmer’s market type place, but very wide with lots of room between stalls, and not selling only food, it was a cross between The farmers market at the grove and the swap meet at Fairfax high school. Me and M_ and A_. Either in a quiet cornet of the market when we were standing up, or in the backseat of the car, M_ unbuttoned her shirt to flash us her breasts, A_ then also opened her shirt and waved her breasts in front of me, moving towards and away from me to tease me. I moved my head forward and she moved away, then she didn’t move away anymore and I ran my tongue up her left breast, and briefly sucked the nipple. She seemed slightly surprised, and pleased.
Then.
We were driving though mountain roads, me, M_, A_ and perhaps my parents, they seem to pop in and out of the dream. For some reason A_ needed an ATM machine and/or a bathroom, so we drove onto a narrow dirt off-ramp that split off from the paved road and curved up a few dozen feet. We drove over (past) a truck below us, where it looked like the road, now on a low dirt cliff maybe 30 feet tall, had simply given way under the weight of the truck. We skirted this and parked at the rest stop building. There was a stair to go down below the parking area and into the building, but as we tried to go down the stair we found it was full of sand. The whole building had been filled in with wet sand due to a recent landslide, which apparently had also been what threw the truck down the cliff or dropped the road out from under it.
Now we all got out of the car and walked around - we are on a wide plateau with a cliff rising behind us, and one falling off in front of us. Nearby there is a fast food place where they apparently will bring food to your car. We all lay down in a grassy area on a blanket, closer to the ledge than to the fast food place. A stereotypical fast food employee with silly uniform and hat and a tray with straps offered us some sort of fried snacks, but we shooed him away. We were lying down with out feet towards the food place, bodies parallel to the cliff in this order (from the cliff side to the drop side) my dad, A_, me, M_, my mom. I was lightly touching both M_ and A_ on their thighs, stomachs and breasts through their clothes.
At some point, either my parents have walked away, or the three of us got up and moved to another place (though again on the same blanket). Now M_ has taken all of her clothes off. A_ took off her pants and underwear, and opens up her shirt (she has no bra on). M_ and A_ are lying to each side of me, with their legs splayed wide open and angled so that their thighs and hips are touching and rubbing against each other. M_s wild and spiky pubic hair sticks up in contrast to A_’s shaved skin. I have been rubbing my fingers in M_s vagina and on her clitoris, and being also touching A_’s leg and inner thigh, then lighty stroking her labia. She moans. I continue to switch between both women, using one hand. I pause now and then to lick M_’s breasts, and to give her long, complicated kisses. Then I turned to A_, I began lightly licking her stomach, circling around her belly button and poking my tongue in it, skirting the top of her pubic mound. I ran my tongue over the swell of her breasts, darted around her nipples and then sucked deeply on each. I pulled my face back and looked up at her, and put my mouth on hers. She sucked hard on my mouth and tongue, wandering around my mouth with her to tongue. We released the kiss and I looked up to see M_ squatting on the other side of A_ now, she bent down and they began to kiss just as hard.
I ran my hand, palm open, down A_’s body towards her crotch.
I woke up.
Today is overcast, which for LA is really shitty. So I won't be biking to the beach at all today - then I should make an effort to go to the gym for a bit. My girlfriend is in Florida for the week, giving me the run of the place - which I have used to do some cleaning, organiizing, and watching amateur porn. You wouldn't necessarily think those all go together, but it makes for suprisingly good background imagery. I was supposed to be on this trip with M_ (I will use these sort of aliases throughout I think - refer to the novel Beautiful Losers by Leonard Cohen), but I could not get the time off. She is going to her high school reunion (10 yrs) and I would have liked to meet all of those people from her life before I knew her. I dragged her to mine last year, but mostly just because we were already on the east coast for Thanksgiving - so we didnt have to make a special trip out for it.
Now I have to decide whether I want to do some 3d modelling for my solo architectural project, or write thank-you's to the folks who came out for or sent me stuff when I graduated. I better do that actually, since I have been putting it off for probably a month now. I am not so good with the writing letters to people. Not that I dont like to, I just never seem to find the time to sit down and write on paper anymore. Typing and printing out letter is a bit tacky I think. Unless you have a gift with the ridiculous use of the typerwriter, like my dad does. But more on that another time I spose.
What else. This journaling thing is a bit new to me. Perhaps after I get some shit done, I will come back to write something else too. I have a dream to post, so maybe I will get to that later.
Now I have to decide whether I want to do some 3d modelling for my solo architectural project, or write thank-you's to the folks who came out for or sent me stuff when I graduated. I better do that actually, since I have been putting it off for probably a month now. I am not so good with the writing letters to people. Not that I dont like to, I just never seem to find the time to sit down and write on paper anymore. Typing and printing out letter is a bit tacky I think. Unless you have a gift with the ridiculous use of the typerwriter, like my dad does. But more on that another time I spose.
What else. This journaling thing is a bit new to me. Perhaps after I get some shit done, I will come back to write something else too. I have a dream to post, so maybe I will get to that later.
Friday, June 20, 2003
Sometimes in the middle of the night, or rather, in the beginning of the night when I am trying to fall asleep, I have ideas. Usually things I should do, either art or architecture projects to take up. I just remembered one from last night that I forgot completely until reading my own post above. This one was to take an adult film (of which I have a library of dozens) and edit out all the parts that either show the identity of the participants, or would not pass a censor for a PG-13 movie. So all faces and genitalia are out. Run those clips together, keeping the sync sound. You end up with a mass of writhing, possibly ambigous, flesh accompanied by the sounds of intercourse. This must then be shown in a fairly nice gallery space.
Keep in mind 1 out of every 10 of these late night project ideas are actually realized. So we will see about that.
Regarding the above (er, below I guess in this layout) quote - it is from the film Fight Club. Ed Norton's character realizes he is losing time, things are happening around him at an incredible speed, and he is not sure of what happened and when - or if he is responsible. He is not sure of himself - where had he been when all this was going on? Was I asleep?
This is sort of how I feel without writing, keeping track of what I have been doing, thinking, feeling. Examing my life and self. Things happen, things are done, but then they seem to slip away. When was it that I went out to the desert? Three weeks ago? Four? I dont remember. I used to write a lot, but I have gotten out of the habit. So this blog is a way back in. And I dont like to write longhand anymore. Too slow. So I figured, if I am going to be typing anyway, why not make it public.
So here we are. Its a bit anonymous, so that I will be completely open. We will see how that goes too.
Keep in mind 1 out of every 10 of these late night project ideas are actually realized. So we will see about that.
Regarding the above (er, below I guess in this layout) quote - it is from the film Fight Club. Ed Norton's character realizes he is losing time, things are happening around him at an incredible speed, and he is not sure of what happened and when - or if he is responsible. He is not sure of himself - where had he been when all this was going on? Was I asleep?
This is sort of how I feel without writing, keeping track of what I have been doing, thinking, feeling. Examing my life and self. Things happen, things are done, but then they seem to slip away. When was it that I went out to the desert? Three weeks ago? Four? I dont remember. I used to write a lot, but I have gotten out of the habit. So this blog is a way back in. And I dont like to write longhand anymore. Too slow. So I figured, if I am going to be typing anyway, why not make it public.
So here we are. Its a bit anonymous, so that I will be completely open. We will see how that goes too.
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Was I asleep? Had I slept?
